Mixed Up Tuesday

Here's a bunch of random stuff running around in my head:

I heart Catherine Tate!

Catherine Tate is a British actress/comedienne. If you've never caught any of the last season of Doctor Who or seen "The Catherine Tate Show" there are a bunch of clips on youtube.
I highly recommend starting with "Lauren Cooper" or the "Translation" videos, but there's also Derrick, the Aga Saga woman, Ginger, and the "Im not drunk enough" clip.

She's a phenomenal actress and I can't get enough of her. There- I finally have a woman crush :)

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Last night I went to dinner and a drink with ex-boyfriend Troy.....not to be confused with best friend Troy who's also an ex-boyfriend (TroyVolta).
Troy B expresses his wish to get back together after 7 years of on again off again. Now that he's turned 40 he's realized it's time to settle down- again. (His ex-wife cheated on him).

It should be a straightforward "NO" on my part......not just because of his lifestyle which includes lots of drinking or because deep down I just don't think he's for me, but after a long conversation with my family prior to going out on why I'm still single and can't seem to meet anyone- at least anyone who's interested in me AND who I'm interested in......well it was difficult to give that resounding NO to Troy.

I've actually been considering it all day. I've been alone for so long and am so tired.....part of me just wants to say yes, settle down and be done with it and yet do I really want to "settle"?

This issue just seems to keep coming up and I keep going back to him..... he has mellowed quite a bit since I've known him but I just don't know that I'll be truly happy deep down.
I'd have security, I'd have tons of connections, parties, fancy dinners, fancy cars, fancy friends and live the high life. I'd be able to travel anywhere. I'd have so many doors opened up.....but Troy's not really interested in having another kid.....though he might consent to 1.

I'm sure I'd love his 2 girls but they're tweens already.

He's got obligations to them and is pretty much non-existent in the summers- the trade off for having 5 months off a year........

He wouldn't be into camping, or hiking, or canoeing, or bowling or karaoke or actually playing sports.....except golf which isn't my forte.

There's so many things I could have but so many things I'd have to give up on..... but I don't want to lead him on so I suppose I should come to a decision soon.

This shouldn't be a hard choice----so why is it???????

Maybe it's because in my heart I know that my best friend Troy is the one for me but he'll never change and go back to women.... I feel like my one opportunity was lost and now I just have to make do...... Troy B's been in my life for 7 years so I don't have to start from scratch. He tells me I'm beautiful and that he loves me- words I don't hear from anyone else.

However, I don't think I'll ever be able to feel as comfortable and unsettled( in a good way) as I do with my TroyVolta.....and he and I unfortunately will never be.

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On a lighter note, camping trip 2008 was a success. We had fun- though a bit tamer than usual.
For the most part the weather held up and we saw us a big cave.

Hopefully I'll have time to post pics soon.