Overload = Mini-Break

So I'm little more than halfway through my summer classes, and you know what? My brain hurts.
No, it literally hurts. i've been plagued with headaches all week and it can only be from all the information I'm trying to cram into it in a short time.

You know what that means?
V A C A T I O N~!

I'm excited to be going to the lake this weekend to- well to study hard actually but at least I'll be more immersed in nature.

So far both classes are going well and I'm at A-level in both.

One thing about being back in school I did not expect is that:
1. I'm having a hard time getting to sleep because of increased caffeine intake and racing thoughts.

2. I keep having the strangest dreams.....many of which are about school and I'm memorozing things. Seriously, I went over and over my rat dissection in a dream just to remember all the parts.

Last night I dreamt about tissue slides and kept repeating them over and over to memorize them.... which I really hope works 'cuz I've got a histology practical coming up on Tuesday.

But also, I've been dreaming about my friends and about work. It's odd that I almost never dream about any of my family members. It's mostly friends- friends from church......guess I know where my heart lies....

More disturbingly though, last night I had a rather unsettling dream about T.L. and that he didn't turn out like I expected. I reasoned "in my dream" that I was more in love with the idealization I created of T.L. than the person himself. This could be true since in actuality I don't know T.L. very well as much as I would like to.

Maybe it was just a sub-conscious reaction to that I saw T.L. at church last week and kind of waved at him but it was like he didn't even see me.

I've been struggling with -not necessarily lonliness- more just in being alone. Guess I'm too busy to think about being lonely, but my mind and everything about me never fails to notice that I am all alone.
(I mean in the physical sense here because if I didn't think God was there I'd be in a very sad place).

I'm not depressed about it. I still REALLY fancy T.L. but such is my yearning I know it's probably not healthy for me. I think I'm arriving at a place where I either need to get serious and really go after settling down, or stay serious on a career track and I think for now I'm content on the career track.

It still makes me feel lonely. But what else can I do? ....maybe not blog at 6am when I'm still half asleep. Then I might be able to make more sense. :)

So for now, it's time to get through this work day so I can enjoy my full on weekend mini-break.
And if anyone does read my blog and attend the Rock, and sees T.L. tonight (or any Friday) maybe you can play matchmaker for us and help me see if there's any interest on his side, or help me see if I'm just deluding myself.

Happy Friday!