Descension of the PsychoBitches

Although I feel it unbecoming and beneath me to blog about this, I am seriously disturbed by some events in the last 24 hours.

I dated a guy who I haven't been with in almost 6 months. I was with him for 2 1/2 years. We'd known each other for many years before we started dating and in those years when he tried to pusue me, I turned him down.

Why I gave into him at last I'm not quite sure. We had lost touch for a few years after we met and during that time I dated another guy who died in a car accident. About a year after the accident when I was feeling particulary depressed, I ran into this guy again.....let's call him Cassanova because that's what he's turned out to be.

Cassanova recognized me after I'd sang at a bar one night. I was glad to see him and in the years apart, he'd gotten married -again- and I knew it wouldn't last but I couldn't say anything.

We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet for a drink- just to catch up on old times. When the day came to meet, Cassanova called and said he had to work late and that it would be more convenient if he could just stop by the liqor store and swing by my place for one drink since we lived so close to one another.

I'd wanted it to be a public place but my schedule was very busy so I gave in.
Well in a nuthshell, he came over, came on to me despite my trying not to look at him. I was at a very weak point in life and I crumbled- and fell pretty hard.

I'm not proud of us being together in an affair but it happened, it's in the past and life goes on. He has a way of making a woman feel like no words can describe. I felt beautiful, wanted, pursued and I couldn't let go of it. I was so blind I wouldn't believe anything else that what I wanted to believe.

It took 2 1/2 years for that spell to wear off and I thank God every day that it did.

However, Cassanova and I were raised and live in the same part of town. We have mutual friends and travel in similar circles so our paths were bound to cross anyway.
But let me quickly sat what broke the spell........ he had me convinced he was going to get a divorce. Then his wife (Oops) gets pregnant. 4 weeks after the baby is born, they separate and are now getting a divorce.

I moved out of my own apartment and in with my brother. Cassanova and my brother know each other well and Cassanova feels awkward about coming to my brother's house.
I was still seeing Cassanova when he decided to go out on a date with someone else....right in front of me. Cassanove wanted to keep me in his little secret closet.

Now as I've said we tried to remain civil and friends- not working out though. Cassanova's new girlfriend- well one of them because he told me himself that there are 2 others besides her- has taken it upon herself to seize Cassanova's phone, look at all his old messages, take my number and start sending me harassing and threatening messages.

I am very guarded as to who I give my number out to. I am appalled. I am extremely irate. I am extremely hurt. I do not want to change my number. I've told this woman who doesn't even know me that she's blind, I pity her, Cassanova's got other girlfriends and politely asked her not to contact me anymore or I might have to take action against her for harassment.

But who are these Psycho bitches that do this??? I know she thinks Cassanova's going to place her above all else and be committed to her. I was there I used to think that because I was so fricking blind. I wish I could go back and slap myself silly for even considering him.

He's been married and divorced twice.....the second divorce being nowhere near complete. He's got 3 kids by 3 different women. He tells everyone what they want to hear with no follow through. He stood me up countless times and I truly learned what disappointment was in seeing him.

He can have his life and we don't have to be civil if that's what he wants but Psycho bitches like this new girlfriend who goes to every bar in town if she can't get ahold of him- and his soon-to-be ex-wife who's not all that unintellgent but extremely immature and confrontational.......I just can't seem to get away from this.

Is this penance I must pay for my sins? It must be. At least I'm intelligent enough not to confront the other women that Cassanova has lied to unless to enlighten them. If I have a problem with Cassanova or his fidelity I take it up with him- not the flavor of the month.

Maybe rightful blaming 101 should be a class. I can accept when I make a mistake and face the consequences but I don't chase after and harass people I don't even know so I can blame them for my own mistrust or unhappiness.

I needed to vent this out. Hopefully I'll never have another blog topic like it.
I'm still unsure as to what I can do. I can change my number I suppose but I don't want to.

I HATE PSYCHO BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!