This past month I've been reliving my non-Christian life. I've been drinking more, and dating a guy that's not in my best interests. Selfishness has taken over and I was ready to throw away everything I'd invested into a relationship with God and the church.
However, as sneaky as Satan is, God is far superior! He placed great people in my life who have been challenging me and royally kicking my butt to get back on track to break out of this cycle of mediocratiy i've been living in. Drama has become my life and it's all because of sin.
Last night at The Rock (my church), our pastor Mark Darling started a series on the 10 great committments in our lives. It reminded me that i made a committment to joining The Rock and to pursue a relationship with Jesus Christ; commitments I've been trying to break. In meditating on Mark's message, as well as some Bible verses sent to me by my small group leader, Jodi, and on words said to me by my best friend, Troy, I've managed to find some strength to re-pursue my commitments.
That being said, it doesn't mean all the crap I've immersed myself in just suddenly vanished. In fact, it is all still very much present, but instead of trying to convince myself God is cutting me loose or is trying to get me to live a life I will hate, i realize he's trying to help.
Even last night as I left church, I wanted someone to talk to....anyone so I wouldn't be tempted to call my "boyfriend". Almost immediately, the phone rang. It was Troy. We had a great conversation and today I awoke with more energy than I've had in awhile.
Suddenly I once again feel the promise and awe of life inspired by God and the amazing grace he bestows upon all of us if we ask ofr it.
Thank you to everyone who's been praying for me!
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