Valentine's Day 2008

Another Valentine's day is upon us.

This morning I went back and read last year's post. It's always interesting to see how many things can change over the course of a year and how many things haven't changed.

So here are my 2008 reflections of being single:

This is the last year I will celebrate a Valentine's Day while in my 20s.
I've almost finished reading the book Captivating and I have to say it's had a more profound impact on my outlook on life than I ever thought it would.

I'm not a huge reader and it's difficult for any book to hold my attention but this book made me aware to many things I was hiding about myself or trying to deny and made me realize how essential it is to the world, to God, and to myself for me to be vulnerable, open and beautiful.

I wasn't even aware how much I'd been hiding my heart or how hardened it had become. I feel softer this week.
So to celebrate Velentine's day, I bought a dozen roses each for my mother and each of my grandmothers. I made homemade Valentines for them and some for a few co-workers as well.

Yesterday I visited my maternal grandmother and it felt really good. She almost couldn't believe I'd brought her flowers which made me feel like I should be doing that more often.

Tonight I plan to visit my mother and perhaps my paternal grandmother.

I was excited and flattered that an acquiantance of mine last Friday had asked me out to dinner tonight so that neither of us would have to spend Valentine's day alone. I gave him my number. He never called..........and you know what? That's ok.

Sure, it would have been nice to go out to dinner and hang out with someone, but on the other hand, one of the goals I set for myself about a year ago was to spend more time with my family and I get the opportunity to do just that.

I often tell my mother I feel like I have nothing in common with anyone in my family- except perhaps her father but like me, he's often busy.
I'm trying to change that feeling of not belonging.

So what's it like to STILL be single on another Valentine's Day?

It's actually ok. I won't lie; if given the choice to be single or not I would choose not but I still find myself content in my life more or less. Though I may throw out the remark that "it's just another day" it isn't. It's a day to celebrate love in all it's forms. Romantic love is just a small part.
I'm fortunate to have lots of people to love. God, family, friends, co-workers, maybe even strangers.
I don't need to have just one man in my life in order to experience love or to define it solely around that. No man could ever love me or make me feel loved enough. It's a bottomless pit that only God can fill and though I've tried to fill it elsewhere and it's made my life miserable, the failures also draw me back to God ever quicker and ever stronger and finally for the last few months I've been content that God is enough.

Though I may go home alone at the end of the day and watch tear-jerking chick flicks, today is a happy day and I am glad to celebrate it - just as I am, and just the way I was intended to celebrate it.

Hope you all find contentment today and have the happiest of Valentine's Days! :)



Last Tuesdays bowling scores: 156, 134, 179. .......I was playing injured.