Monday Chick Bits

So I hear we taxpaying citizens are getting federal checks to encourage our already shop-a-holic natures while at the same time increasing the federal deficit.
Seems a lot like giving someone in serious financial debt a bunch of money and expecting them to use the money to further their debt rather than start paying it off.

I have no words to express this lame-brained scheme.
Sure, I'll enjoy getting a check from the government- who wouldn't? And as a self-absorbed individual no doubt I'll enjoy spending it on myself. But I'm at least respnsible enough to be climbling out of debt while spending this dough.

I wonder how much this government sponsored shopping spree will entice consumers to spend even more:
"Oh honey, I know we got $600 and look, this brand new HD TV is only $1200. I know we can't afford it, but it's only like half price now. We won't have this deal come around again....."

How much more financial loss do you think we'll incur when even more people file for bankruptcy and financial assistance.

The problem isn't debt; the problem's self-control- something that's become nearly equated with the vilest of words in our language.

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If there are 2 things God has been revealing to me in the last few months it is these things:
1. Beauty
2. Self- control

In the books I've read, the friendships I've had, the movies I've seen I've been learning much about these things.
And had I seen or read or experienced anyof these things out of sequence, they might have gone unnoticed and made no impact on me.
Gotta love how God works his stuff, don't you?

I've become aware of how essential beauty is-most especially to women and how beauty is key to shaping everything around us in this world. We are drawn to it- models, flowers, sunlight, makeup, jewelry, finery.....we want it, we NEED it.
Beauty is the gift women possess and give to the world as a representation of God's heart and softness. ...compassion, sympathy, mercy, love, gentleness.

Last night I watched a movie called "The Little Princess". It's probably more a kid's movie, but I found it to speak to my heart about this theme of beauty I've been learning about.

In a nutshell, a girl named Sara is raised in India by her father. Her mother is dead and when Sara's still fairly young, her British father is sent off to fight in world war 1. Sara's father takes her to a girls' boarding school and sees to it she gets the biggest and best room and all the nicest things. She has tons of toys and an incredible imagination.
Soon all the girls except one (who's jealous of her own popularity taken away) are mesmerized by Sara's stories. She has to tell them in secret because the headmistress does not approve of communication among the girls.
Sara's father, before he left, told her she was a princess; that all girls are princesses no matter what.

During Sara's birthday celebration, she is told that her father is dead, his assets are seized and she is penniless. Her toys, clothes, eveything is taken away and the headmistress bestows "charity" on her by making her one of the servant girls. She cannot speak to any of her former classmates, and is now the lowliest person there instead of the wealthiest.

But her firends stay true to her, imagine with her. Sara never asks for anything and always knows that though she has no money, she is still a princess no matter how she is told differently.
It was pretty cool.

I would say it was the crown of beauty- to keep the inner beauty. Because no matter how fithy she was, she was still beautiful. Her spirit shined.
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Now I'm being directed to self-control.
I'm reading the book Blue Like Jazz. In it, the author identifies our self-absorption and lack of self-control as conflict and that conflict can only be called SIN.

I'm also observing lent this year, though I'm not Catholic, as an excercise in self-control. I've givin up all meat for 6 weeks.
Yesterday my BF asked me why I would do this. When I told him it was simply an exercise in self-control and that if I can say no to myself in this small thing, I might more easily be able to say no to myself in bigger things- like spending or sex or alcohol or anything.
He simply said "I couldn't do that".

I believed him. Here is a guy who taught me aolt about being responsible and keeping things together for a time. Now the tables have turned. He can't keep anything together. Many of the things he taught me I've had to re-teach him because he's forgotten.
He has abandoned all self-control. Hs no desire for it, and his life is in dore chaos. I know there's nothing I can to do help. It hurts to watch and not be able to persuade him to change back.
All I can do is pray, and hope and love him in spite of his actions.

For me, self-control is attainable but like every human, I have addictions. I've spent years fighting them and am now at a time where they're reasonably under control.......hopefully this will last as long as it can.
It seems like nothing at all, but I'm also not faced with drastic temptations or hard choices. God has sort of shielded me in (at my request).

But being in this place, it's amazing how easily I forget many people can't bear to face their demons and have no interest in even trying. They run away from self-control. It's all about ME ME ME ME ME.

I recently went out a few times with a new divorcee and all he talked about was "I'm taking time for MY needs. This year is about what I want. It's time for ME. I want you to give ME........., etc."
It was sickening hearing him talk like that. I know he's hurting from his divorce but that's no reson to wall up and push everyone away to glorify himself.
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I don't even know where I'm going with this post. My thoughts feel so abtract and it's a rarity indeed that I ever feel I can be coherent and explain things and thoughts well.

I do find myself agreeing with author Donald Miller. The problems of this world aren't racism, or human rights, the environment or predjudice of any kind. They are only symptoms of a bigger problem. The problem is with in ourselves. The problem is conlict with the cosmic harmony. The problem is sin against God.

This seems a heavy post for Monday :)

Happy President's Day.

Sunday's bowling scores: 164, 200, 134, 185. Took 8 of 10 points.