Hope in a Depraved World

Last night I had dinner with my BFF Troy.

I was supposed to go to Mystic Lake casino to celebrate my cosmetologist friend Lucy's 21st birthday. I was all dolled up (because hanging with a bunch of girls from beauty school can make one feel a bit frumpy in every day attire).

Long story short, I couldn't get ahold of Lucy. I called her before I left the office and left a message. It took me an hour and a half to drive to Shakopee from work. I stopped at a gas station hoping to reach her, but to no avail.

So what do you do when you're dressed up and your plans fall thru? You call your best friend to see what they're doing.
turns out Troy only planned to make spaghetti and stay in. That worked for me.

Troy has a way of letting me know I'm a girl at every turn yet never treats me like one. He talks about my girly stuff rather derrogatively and yet shows me no sensitivity and in his manners treats me like a guy.
I am in fact a girl and therefore can get rather emotional. So when he saw my new dress, etc -which I'd received numerous compliments on- he just said "The Gay 90s called, they want their dress back", it hurt more than it made me laugh.
In retrospect it's funny, but my plans had fallen thru, I'd spent 2 hours driving in rush hour which I loathe to hell and it was very poor timing.

I had trouble getting one of my knee high boots off because I'd inadvertantly zipped up my nylons in them and it got stuck. More anxious to get the mushrooms I'd bought into the spaghetti sauce so they could cook, I walked around the apartment with one high heel boot on.
Eventually Troy helped cut me out of it.
I wasn't going to rewear those nylons anyway.

I placed my boots next to a pile of stuff he had on the floor, 'til he yelled at me to move them saying he'd alreadt asked me to do so. He hadn't asked me, and it pained me again. All this after I'd even specially bought him his beloved Mountain Dew and some cupcakes for dessert.
Gratitude is NOT something I ever feel from him.

Our little spat went on thru dinner. I didn't even look at him much less talk to him, but I swalloed my pride because we rarely get to hang out anymore and I'm working on neing more loving towards people.

I always thought of myself as an exceptionally loving and compassionate person.
Blue Like Jazz, which I just finished, convicted me that I was perhaps not as loving or compassionate as I had thought. I had a few revelations while reading it, but that's another blog subject.

As is usual, Troy and I talked about politics, faith, relationships, and the depraved state of the world. our conversations never cease to amaze me because for being friends, we are such polar opposites on many subjects. Often times I think that if two people like Troy and I could be friends, than there is no reason for any darkness in the world because most other people have more in common.

We talked about the fallen state of the world.
I believe there's still hope in the world and that people are still basically good; that good can be found anywhere if you really look for it. It can also come unexpectedly. I believe there can be salvation for the human race.

Troy however feels we are doomed rather than to be saved. He sees all people as desolate, depraved, evil. For that he would not consider ever having children because it's a terrible thing to bring a child into this world that is so cruel and violent.

This is where I come back that the world needs good people to be brought up and stand against the bad. I would like to have children to teach them the right way of living and to be lights to a world of darkness. (high hopes perhaps, but hopes nonetheless).

Then Troy said something that struck me......... he said he believes God doesn't want us to have children. He wants the human race to shrink and gradually die out because we're so evil.
I told him that if that were true, he wouldn't have made the world in the first place or have made humans. Sure we cause God pain; lots of pain, but we also bring Him great joy from time to time.

Our conversation ended rather unresolved on that point with Troy believing god doesn't want more children to be born and me thinking he does.
I just found it something I'd never considered before. That people see the world as a wholly bad place.

Sure it's immoral, we're all sinners and bad things happen out there.,,,lots of bad things but if all a person does is whut themselves up in their home and only view the world thru a TV screen or a radio or newspaper or internet......sure it would probably seem like a microcosm of Hell itself.

But meeting with people, sharing with them, getting to know them, praying with them or over them, loving them, that's a side of the world people don't look at because it's not plastered all over every media outlet we expose ourselves to.

Just last week a complete stranger came up to me and gave me a $20 off coupon at a store I was shopping at because she couldn't find anything she liked and it was going to expire.
She could have let it expire, or given it to a friend or family member, but she gave it to me- a stranger. I'd consider that a random act of kindness and when I experience stuf like that, it makes me want to do kind things like that for others.

So if we condition ourselves to stop seeing the imperfections and all bad things in others, bad manners, habits, pet peeves, things that just get under our skin......if instead we choose to swallow our pride and just keep loving people and doing good for them even if they're ungrateful, different, spit in your face, rob you, or whatever, who knows?
We might subtly change people and inspire them to want to be better thru our kindness and love.

Sure, there are many people out there who do want to use you for all you've got and giving is not a word in their vocabulary. Maybe it's not in their vocabulary because they've never seen giving or loving or kindness. Maybe if enough people share these things though it will one day rub off.

There's my idealistic thinking for today.

Happy Friday! Hope the weekend is great to all! :)



This week's bowling scores: 154, 158, 204.
Hand is almost healed.